Eloquent insanity

i guess lyfes not a fairy tale...but isnt it there if u believe itz there?? i juz look bak at the tyme i enjoyed and i shiver when i think of them...why?? am i craving for those magnificent seconds?? what if they dont come bak?? what if they are POOF!!! gone?? wat am i to do?? what did i do wrong?? where am i supposed to go?? im soo lost...lyke in a thick forest without a compass...those beautiful sites...those flawless things we've done... have they dissapeared?? maybe itz juz me...the stupid old ugly me...but what if itz real?? these things make my head spin and spin until i juz feel dat im gonna collapse...i have nothing... i only have you god... and u cb... and u edward...and my parentz...plus my fwenz...nothin else...okay maybe itz smthink...but...itz common...aint it?? why dont i have things dat mostly all of them have?? i mean my other half...why?? is it really a test dat i have to pass?? i noe sm ppl said...BE HAPPY WITH WATEVA U HAVE...but...dont u get bored with wat u have?? musn't we move on?? CONFUSED OLD ME...but...well..haha...there are alwiyz exceptions...datz me...i have many questions dat might not be answered for the rest of my whole lyfe...datz a fact that i dun think i can change...